New York Instances bestselling creator, educator, martial artist and CEO of The Bruce Lee Basis, Shannon Lee, is a drive with the grace of a butterfly. Her newest guide, Be Water, My Friend, explores her well-known father’s philosophies about private development. That have could have helped put together her for when her daughter, Wren, left residence for faculty. However she nonetheless recollects a sense of confusion standing alone in a grocery aisle.
“I actually could not consider what to purchase. I had by no means purchased meals only for me. [Wren] was all the time at the start on my thoughts,” she mentioned.
Lee has adopted her father’s path as a non secular information and creator, which has helped her develop consciousness and acceptance in changing into an empty nester. We spoke with Lee in regards to the mindset she’s adopted, which has shifted her perspective; nourished her thoughts, physique, and soul ; and allowed her to develop in new instructions.
This interview has been frivolously edited for readability and size.
HealthyWomen: How has your relationship with time and area modified since changing into an empty nester?
Shannon Lee: Any transition is difficult, even the great ones, as a result of it is a change in what your expertise is.
Apparently, once I turned an empty nester, I used to be each unhappy to be away from my daughter, and excited for her and myself. I all of a sudden had all this time and area to problem myself to make significant use of it.
HW: How did transferring into this life section have an effect on your emotional well-being?
Lee: You realize, I work actually onerous to remain centered and to undertake probably the most helpful perspective for me. I divorced from my daughter’s father when Wren was 5, and I bear in mind the primary Christmas I did not have her with me. I used to be at residence, feeling unhappy, after which I spotted I may sit in the lounge, wrap the presents, placed on a film and luxuriate in my time. So, it is only a shift within the story I am telling myself. She got here the subsequent morning to have fun the vacation with me, however I did not need to stand up at 6 a.m. I may get pleasure from my course of a bit of bit extra. It’s the identical as an empty nester. After I’m feeling unhappy or lonely or drained, I ask myself, “What’s on the coronary heart of that? How can I lean into the shift? Do I wish to name her or go for a stroll?” It’s actually about checking in with myself usually and studying methods to attain for a brand new narrative that’s completely different from the one which’s bringing me down within the second.
HW: How has it shifted your relationship along with your daughter?
Lee: My daughter and I are tremendous shut, which is nice. I’ve to keep in mind that she is a child grownup experiencing life, and to not be on her on a regular basis. That does not imply I do not name or textual content her simply to say hello, however I need her to have her area and attain out when she thinks of me. If I have never heard from her in per week, then I am going to examine in. This additionally permits me to have experiences separate and other than her. I can assume, “Is there a visit I wish to go on? How am I feeding or not feeding my soul?” After I’m on my fifth hour of Netflix and I am feeling like a sloth on the sofa, I do know that I am not feeding my soul.
HW: Many individuals know your father was a martial artist and an actor, however they might not be as conscious that he was additionally deeply non secular and philosophical. Which one in every of your father’s philosophies applies to this time in your life?
Lee: I stumbled upon a quote in his writing that helped me tremendously once I was affected by the lack of my brother and once more throughout this time. He mentioned, “The medication for my struggling I had inside me from the very starting, however I did not take it. My ailment got here from inside myself, however I didn’t observe it till this second. And now I see if I’m to seek out the sunshine, I have to be like a candle and be my gas, consuming myself.” It’s the concept I am accountable for my very own well-being. And that comes from being my gas, igniting my spark and releasing what not serves me.
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